Unconditional Love

I am trying to do a better job of updating the blog. Time just seems to be sucked up and at the end of the day I feel like there is nothing else left. I am trying to get a handle of my new life...and the things that come with it. For instance -- a dirty house, mail that just sits on my desk, bills that haven't been paid, emails that haven't been returned in MONTHS (if you are one of them I am so sorry!), friends that I have not called back (once again...sorry!), dinner that has not been made, days without a shower, etc. etc. etc. Those of you with young children know what I am talking about. My time is not mine anymore. Goodbye to me. The other night I was up feeding Isaiah. It was in the middle of the night and I was sooooo exhausted. You know that feeling of being tired where every bone in your body aches and you seriously didn't know how you would function the next day. In the middle of those tired and selfish thoughts, I became thankful for this time because I am learning how to love unconditionally. I don't think I really knew what that meant before this experience.

Isaiah was sleeping through the night, but the last month or so he began waking up every 2-3 hours. I find myself having to really pray through the night in order to keep my mind at peace otherwise I could definitely lose it. I have been praying lately for acceptance. I want to love these middle of the night feedings because he is only little for such a short time. I do find that every day I am embracing it more and more. I want to enjoy this time even through the utter exhaustion. I guess this is the lesson I am learning. I love learning this lesson. I want to be a better mom because of it. I want to love unconditionally.